Humor Quotes

Men are like fine wine—they all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we’d like to have dinner with. —Anonymous

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ― George Carlin

“A deaf and dumb in the mist of morons is a renowned talkative among brains.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” ― Miss Piggy

“The intellect, like all cultural values, has created an aristocracy based on the possession of rational culture and independent of all personal ethical qualities of man. The aristocracy of intellect is hence an unbrotherly aristocracy.”
― Max Weber

Quotes of the Day

Men are like fine wine—they all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we’d like to have dinner with. —Anonymous

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ― George Carlin

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” ― Miss Piggy

 

 

A Household Item

A friend said, “please don’t stop your daily jottings

just because somebody mentioned the word “exhibitionist,”

or at least, send them to me”

but I have some other thoughts on the subject

I am going to start to write something different

 

but I won’t forget how i started

Two years ago, with him, and i was reminded

when his son came into the room

while we were skyping

and said, “Hey Georgia!”

I knew, right then,

that i was a household item

so far away, in texas

 

as he is for me

even if we are living

way across the country

but guess what?

once we get a plane ticket

all worked out

I am coming to houston

and I’m going to do

my  biggest reading yet

for the people who

have believed in me

even when

they mistakenly thought

that I was just a teen

The Incorrigible Louise

I knew an elderly woman from church

nicknamed “Be Nice Louise”

Because her husband could always be heard

leaning over and saying that to her

during social gatherings

that is the just the kind of woman

I want to grow to be.

Can you smoke me up before class again?

Hiding behind my computer screen

and all the haze, suddenly

I remember that I can just tell people

I have social anxiety

and use my meds and theirs

to make the smokescreen bearable

between me and them

 

“Come over before class”  I ask

“Please? I do better one on one

and under the influence of drugs”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says

“That class sounds awful.

I can smoke you up”